Best Things in Life Cost a Fortune.
As i speak to you,poor catholics of ireland,tug your forelocks and doff your hats to me.
My wife,Queen Elizabeth the First,and i have decided to brighten up your dreary lives with a visit from my regal self.
We understand some of your new mega rich like sky pilot and airline owner,michael o'cleary and broadcasting and media
legend,pat the squatter kenny of rte telly bingo fame are very anxious to kiss my arse and ingratiate themselves into upper class high society.
i shall be shopping in dublin at some of your most famous stores such as Harrods and Aldi and Lidl,my people here in Buckingham Palace
inform me that these establishments are run by good Vorsprung durch Technik German stock like myself,my surname is Saxe Gotha Coburg after all,
we only changed our name when our boys in Deutschland began losing heavily in WW1.
we told our people that although ireland has made some economic progress in the last decade,we will not be visiting any roman Catholic lazy dosser areas of
dublin such as the Falls road or anywhere along the river Lee.
Catholic men with Aran sweaters or irish women with cheap peig sayers-style shawls will receive only manky looks from myself and my consort,Her Majesty,Queen of Great Britain and the Outer Hebrides.
remember my motto always,the best things in life cost a fortune as queen victoria used to constantly remind me.
my good lady wife and i will be arriving by fast ferry in the area known as Kingstown or Doon Leary as it pronounced in
icelandic.
you may now rise from your kneeling positions,i have to go and hatch another little plot against that madman,prince charles.
