Buttocks GUARANTEED to be left hairless,claims Brazilian footie player.
Ronaldo,ex brazilian striker and current AC Milan substitute uses a new hair destroying
product that immediately removes every hair on your posterior when applied with a blowtorch.
"Crapgel" containes cysteine crapotein,glycopissysteam and one secret cosmetic component that
will quite literally wipe every hair off your arse in no time it is so potent.
you will be left with chic designer stubleless bald rosy glowing buttock cheeks that will
be the envy of every poncy,overpaid,posy, wimpy, divey English premiership footballer.
your crown will be as smooth and as polished as a red potted ball on a snooker table at the world championship on a balmy,hot day.
remember,endorsed by Ronaldo MacDonaldo from his restaurant seat while eating his Big Crac burger.
All these f***ing prostitutes cost me a bomb,"Ronaldo blurted out in Rio de January in Argentina as he was pursued
by two drunk paparazzi.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Queen Elizabeth advises Prince Philip.
PRINCE PHILIP DEVISES PLAN AT WINDSOR CASTLE FOR HIS TRIP TO IRELAND.
Having breakfast old bean,here in Windsor Castle,i feel right parky,had a nightmare
last night you see,i was locked in a small cubby hole with peggy,little mo and the 2
harridans ..what's one of their names,ronnie,is it?
woke up sweating,i even kicked the old lady out of the bed onto the floor in the middle of the night i was so agitated,couldn't escape,
little mo insisted i have sexual
intercourse with her.
anyway,back to reality and normality this morning...'ere,you,butler,fetch me me pipe and slippers and pronto
or i'll have your guts for garters.
these working class people today,especially these uppity londoners think they're all funnymen or City barrowboys,they all want to
be famous or celebrities,lounge around all day,off to wentworth to play golf.
anyway,we(Queen Elizabeth the First and I) have decided I shall wear my Old Etonian bowler hat on my forthcoming trip to Dublin,i shall distribute bread and dripping to the
hundreds of thousands of urchins of that city from grafton street,dawson street and a place called temple bar
where many poor cockneys visit on their cheap weekend breaks to scotland..er..i mean island,er ireland.
'ere where the bleedin 'ell is my hot chocolate,butler?
Having breakfast old bean,here in Windsor Castle,i feel right parky,had a nightmare
last night you see,i was locked in a small cubby hole with peggy,little mo and the 2
harridans ..what's one of their names,ronnie,is it?
woke up sweating,i even kicked the old lady out of the bed onto the floor in the middle of the night i was so agitated,couldn't escape,
little mo insisted i have sexual
intercourse with her.
anyway,back to reality and normality this morning...'ere,you,butler,fetch me me pipe and slippers and pronto
or i'll have your guts for garters.
these working class people today,especially these uppity londoners think they're all funnymen or City barrowboys,they all want to
be famous or celebrities,lounge around all day,off to wentworth to play golf.
anyway,we(Queen Elizabeth the First and I) have decided I shall wear my Old Etonian bowler hat on my forthcoming trip to Dublin,i shall distribute bread and dripping to the
hundreds of thousands of urchins of that city from grafton street,dawson street and a place called temple bar
where many poor cockneys visit on their cheap weekend breaks to scotland..er..i mean island,er ireland.
'ere where the bleedin 'ell is my hot chocolate,butler?
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Prince Philip,Duke of Glascow Rangers to visit Dublin.
Best Things in Life Cost a Fortune.
As i speak to you,poor catholics of ireland,tug your forelocks and doff your hats to me.
My wife,Queen Elizabeth the First,and i have decided to brighten up your dreary lives with a visit from my regal self.
We understand some of your new mega rich like sky pilot and airline owner,michael o'cleary and broadcasting and media
legend,pat the squatter kenny of rte telly bingo fame are very anxious to kiss my arse and ingratiate themselves into upper class high society.
i shall be shopping in dublin at some of your most famous stores such as Harrods and Aldi and Lidl,my people here in Buckingham Palace
inform me that these establishments are run by good Vorsprung durch Technik German stock like myself,my surname is Saxe Gotha Coburg after all,
we only changed our name when our boys in Deutschland began losing heavily in WW1.
we told our people that although ireland has made some economic progress in the last decade,we will not be visiting any roman Catholic lazy dosser areas of
dublin such as the Falls road or anywhere along the river Lee.
Catholic men with Aran sweaters or irish women with cheap peig sayers-style shawls will receive only manky looks from myself and my consort,Her Majesty,Queen of Great Britain and the Outer Hebrides.
remember my motto always,the best things in life cost a fortune as queen victoria used to constantly remind me.
my good lady wife and i will be arriving by fast ferry in the area known as Kingstown or Doon Leary as it pronounced in
icelandic.
you may now rise from your kneeling positions,i have to go and hatch another little plot against that madman,prince charles.
As i speak to you,poor catholics of ireland,tug your forelocks and doff your hats to me.
My wife,Queen Elizabeth the First,and i have decided to brighten up your dreary lives with a visit from my regal self.
We understand some of your new mega rich like sky pilot and airline owner,michael o'cleary and broadcasting and media
legend,pat the squatter kenny of rte telly bingo fame are very anxious to kiss my arse and ingratiate themselves into upper class high society.
i shall be shopping in dublin at some of your most famous stores such as Harrods and Aldi and Lidl,my people here in Buckingham Palace
inform me that these establishments are run by good Vorsprung durch Technik German stock like myself,my surname is Saxe Gotha Coburg after all,
we only changed our name when our boys in Deutschland began losing heavily in WW1.
we told our people that although ireland has made some economic progress in the last decade,we will not be visiting any roman Catholic lazy dosser areas of
dublin such as the Falls road or anywhere along the river Lee.
Catholic men with Aran sweaters or irish women with cheap peig sayers-style shawls will receive only manky looks from myself and my consort,Her Majesty,Queen of Great Britain and the Outer Hebrides.
remember my motto always,the best things in life cost a fortune as queen victoria used to constantly remind me.
my good lady wife and i will be arriving by fast ferry in the area known as Kingstown or Doon Leary as it pronounced in
icelandic.
you may now rise from your kneeling positions,i have to go and hatch another little plot against that madman,prince charles.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Like Urinating into a Countervailing Wind.
BATTLE OF THE FINGLAS HORSES.
Gilbert Gilhooley,here,yours truly,the biggest and best gangster in Ireland.
you know all those millions of people it seems who waffle on every day about how we all need to reduce
our carbon arseprint,could they simply not refrain from breaking wind for a few months and shut the fuck up?
ah,me head is hoppin' off me,i have a hangover from too many koppaberg swedish ciders and a few pints it feels of gin and tonics last night in clancys bar in bray,
so i'm
not in the best of moods,right?.
listen,i told you i like a bet now and again but the horses i put the few bob on the last time
in paddy powers were worthless nags,they all finished nowhere,i hope they finish up as glue and soon.
speaking of nags,modney bojangles and fatso kelly had their polo match last sunday in
finglas,it ended in a fight and a riot but fatso kelly won.
listen boss,modney whinged to me up there in finglas,fatso is cheating,he has professional jockeys
and cian o'connor on his polo team.
cian o'connor?
he's the lad won a gold medal at the sydney olympic horsejumping event all those years ago,
his horse smoked a few joints before his round to calm himself down,you know,give him an advantage over the other
nags over the fences.i suppose nags get excited and make unforced errors when they're "jumpy" if you get my drift?
fatso had jockeys johnny murtagh,kieran fallon,lester piggot or maybe it was tracey piggot,i'm not sure.
it's a wonder fatso didnt produce arkle and shergar,modney bojangles,complained to me at half time during the polo match.
modney bojangles just couldnt take defeat and lost the head after the 19-1 drubbing,he clocked fatso,knocked him out,i had to send him to spain for
a fortnight,because fatso would have killed him when he woke and got out of beaumount hospital.
i gave fatso the patek philippe platinum watch,value,89 grand and he's my new capo and that means a good lot more shillings
in the pocket for him from now on.
i said to fatso at visiting time by way of sympathy,life is like urinating into a countervailing wind at times,sure we all just have to get
on with it.
next time i'll tell you about my golf club,i wont give away the name but it begins and ends with a k.
so until next time,piss off,me fucking head is throbbing.
Gilbert Gilhooley,here,yours truly,the biggest and best gangster in Ireland.
you know all those millions of people it seems who waffle on every day about how we all need to reduce
our carbon arseprint,could they simply not refrain from breaking wind for a few months and shut the fuck up?
ah,me head is hoppin' off me,i have a hangover from too many koppaberg swedish ciders and a few pints it feels of gin and tonics last night in clancys bar in bray,
so i'm
not in the best of moods,right?.
listen,i told you i like a bet now and again but the horses i put the few bob on the last time
in paddy powers were worthless nags,they all finished nowhere,i hope they finish up as glue and soon.
speaking of nags,modney bojangles and fatso kelly had their polo match last sunday in
finglas,it ended in a fight and a riot but fatso kelly won.
listen boss,modney whinged to me up there in finglas,fatso is cheating,he has professional jockeys
and cian o'connor on his polo team.
cian o'connor?
he's the lad won a gold medal at the sydney olympic horsejumping event all those years ago,
his horse smoked a few joints before his round to calm himself down,you know,give him an advantage over the other
nags over the fences.i suppose nags get excited and make unforced errors when they're "jumpy" if you get my drift?
fatso had jockeys johnny murtagh,kieran fallon,lester piggot or maybe it was tracey piggot,i'm not sure.
it's a wonder fatso didnt produce arkle and shergar,modney bojangles,complained to me at half time during the polo match.
modney bojangles just couldnt take defeat and lost the head after the 19-1 drubbing,he clocked fatso,knocked him out,i had to send him to spain for
a fortnight,because fatso would have killed him when he woke and got out of beaumount hospital.
i gave fatso the patek philippe platinum watch,value,89 grand and he's my new capo and that means a good lot more shillings
in the pocket for him from now on.
i said to fatso at visiting time by way of sympathy,life is like urinating into a countervailing wind at times,sure we all just have to get
on with it.
next time i'll tell you about my golf club,i wont give away the name but it begins and ends with a k.
so until next time,piss off,me fucking head is throbbing.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Bono,irish world celeb,may have haemorrhoids.
More useless "celebrity" product endorsements.
Padraig Harrington,ubiquitous irish pitch and putter,winner of last year's Balbriggan Open,recommends Flora pro-activ to grease the wheel axles on your car-just rub it on your hands first,Padraig says.
glenda gilson,never off the pages of the irish tabloids recommends using haemorrhoid cream "Wipe O",after a glitzy freebie whirlwind party at somebody else's expense,glenda gilson is not actress glenda jackson's daughter it is unreliably misinformed.
glenda liked to play some movie roles in the nip or was that alan bates and oliver reed?
buy "Wipe O" from the roadside,if you can,glenda says.
there are reports that glenda may marry tv3's alan hughes which would be the biggest wedding of the year as well as the biggest surprise of the century so far.
victoria bickham,partner of los angelus basketball megastar,mensa's dave bickham has reportedly had more colonic irrigation treatment for her throat in st tropez.
transocean drilling rig,down the hole iv,has spudded a well off the coast of austria in preparation for next month's expected gusher.
gerald keane and his son,roy keane,infamous sunderland oil rig worker have both said off the record to newspaper editors that
organic champagne at 34 euro a bottle is "quite nice."
drop everything for next july the 22nd when all of ireland's 2 world celebrities and the rest of the z listers hold a massive party
in leitrim to discuss the texture and size of a mink's bollacks after "partying" all day on a spaceshuttle moored on the river shannon.
in the evening,bono,lead singer with the beatles and van morrisey,mr laugh a minute,will give a concert for 200,000,000 swiss francs,once it's
paid in cash and sent to holland where no taxes will be paid on it.
your next "celebrity" update will come from hollywood in march.
Padraig Harrington,ubiquitous irish pitch and putter,winner of last year's Balbriggan Open,recommends Flora pro-activ to grease the wheel axles on your car-just rub it on your hands first,Padraig says.
glenda gilson,never off the pages of the irish tabloids recommends using haemorrhoid cream "Wipe O",after a glitzy freebie whirlwind party at somebody else's expense,glenda gilson is not actress glenda jackson's daughter it is unreliably misinformed.
glenda liked to play some movie roles in the nip or was that alan bates and oliver reed?
buy "Wipe O" from the roadside,if you can,glenda says.
there are reports that glenda may marry tv3's alan hughes which would be the biggest wedding of the year as well as the biggest surprise of the century so far.
victoria bickham,partner of los angelus basketball megastar,mensa's dave bickham has reportedly had more colonic irrigation treatment for her throat in st tropez.
transocean drilling rig,down the hole iv,has spudded a well off the coast of austria in preparation for next month's expected gusher.
gerald keane and his son,roy keane,infamous sunderland oil rig worker have both said off the record to newspaper editors that
organic champagne at 34 euro a bottle is "quite nice."
drop everything for next july the 22nd when all of ireland's 2 world celebrities and the rest of the z listers hold a massive party
in leitrim to discuss the texture and size of a mink's bollacks after "partying" all day on a spaceshuttle moored on the river shannon.
in the evening,bono,lead singer with the beatles and van morrisey,mr laugh a minute,will give a concert for 200,000,000 swiss francs,once it's
paid in cash and sent to holland where no taxes will be paid on it.
your next "celebrity" update will come from hollywood in march.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Queen Elizabeth the Second sends this website best wishes.
Website receives Greetings and Best Wishes from Queen Elizabeth the First.
A large number of Australians have been in touch with our website recently,independent sources estimate
we have several hundred thousand readers in that fair dinkum land.
it has been made known to us that the ruler of england and australia herself has sent her best wishes
to this website,Her Majesty reads the website every day and "one finds it very amusing",she said to her
corgis at breakfast last friday.
thank you your majesty,we understand your husband prince philip of greece,the duke of glascow rangers has tried to have a number of your corgis
assassinated on several occasions and we wish to inform him that this is not nice at all.
to our corgi friends in buckingham palace,woof woof.
A large number of Australians have been in touch with our website recently,independent sources estimate
we have several hundred thousand readers in that fair dinkum land.
it has been made known to us that the ruler of england and australia herself has sent her best wishes
to this website,Her Majesty reads the website every day and "one finds it very amusing",she said to her
corgis at breakfast last friday.
thank you your majesty,we understand your husband prince philip of greece,the duke of glascow rangers has tried to have a number of your corgis
assassinated on several occasions and we wish to inform him that this is not nice at all.
to our corgi friends in buckingham palace,woof woof.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Irish Gangsters to play polo in hood area of dublin.
gilbert gilhooley,ireland's biggest thug and gangster here,how are ye all?
no that i give a buck.
documents disappear,golf outings that were fictitious,collective memory loss,does the crook bertie ahern
think us other criminals don't read the daily newspapers or have opinions,that we are all thick as a premiership footballer?
junior ministers by the dozens,the bunch of lazy,bucking dossers,all dressed up in expensive suits and ties and
all hats and no knickers for the lady junior ministers.
dont do a tap of work,they sit on their bony arses all day,doing nothing.
what am i waffling on about?
you must be from planet mars.
the irish mafia who "run" the country of ireland,run it into the ground.
i'm a patriotic gangster,i'll have you know.
anyway,on with my news,i have to decide between fatso kelly or modney bojangles as my new capo,both
are first class hitmen,loyal troops,and dishonest as the summer day is long.
i couldnt show any favouritism so i decided,right,lads,
we hold a polo match,get your polo teams together by next sunday,round up as many stray horses as ye can in
finglas(a hood area of dublin)pick your teams and may the best man win.
modney bojangles is anally retentive,fierce fussy and looked at me as if i was a horse myself.
polo?
in fucking finglas?
i said yeah,who ever wins meaning who ever scores the most goals by the end of the game gets a patek philippe swiss watch,a brand new one,mind,no chinese counterfeit crap.
and becomes my capo,understood?
fatso kelly nodded his agreement.
that's fine by me boss,fatso kelly said,but i'd prefer to have our polo game in fucking timbucktoo,
i hate finglas,rember that fucker who shot me in the neck,i was in hospital for 7 months?
so what?i said.that's ...yonks ago..
he's from finglas,well he was before he was dead.
alright boss,polo next sunday.fatso said.
where do i get the gear?
listen,batter the patter,zip the lip,how do i know where you get polo gear?
just...get it...
no that i give a buck.
documents disappear,golf outings that were fictitious,collective memory loss,does the crook bertie ahern
think us other criminals don't read the daily newspapers or have opinions,that we are all thick as a premiership footballer?
junior ministers by the dozens,the bunch of lazy,bucking dossers,all dressed up in expensive suits and ties and
all hats and no knickers for the lady junior ministers.
dont do a tap of work,they sit on their bony arses all day,doing nothing.
what am i waffling on about?
you must be from planet mars.
the irish mafia who "run" the country of ireland,run it into the ground.
i'm a patriotic gangster,i'll have you know.
anyway,on with my news,i have to decide between fatso kelly or modney bojangles as my new capo,both
are first class hitmen,loyal troops,and dishonest as the summer day is long.
i couldnt show any favouritism so i decided,right,lads,
we hold a polo match,get your polo teams together by next sunday,round up as many stray horses as ye can in
finglas(a hood area of dublin)pick your teams and may the best man win.
modney bojangles is anally retentive,fierce fussy and looked at me as if i was a horse myself.
polo?
in fucking finglas?
i said yeah,who ever wins meaning who ever scores the most goals by the end of the game gets a patek philippe swiss watch,a brand new one,mind,no chinese counterfeit crap.
and becomes my capo,understood?
fatso kelly nodded his agreement.
that's fine by me boss,fatso kelly said,but i'd prefer to have our polo game in fucking timbucktoo,
i hate finglas,rember that fucker who shot me in the neck,i was in hospital for 7 months?
so what?i said.that's ...yonks ago..
he's from finglas,well he was before he was dead.
alright boss,polo next sunday.fatso said.
where do i get the gear?
listen,batter the patter,zip the lip,how do i know where you get polo gear?
just...get it...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
ROTTEN PARLIAMENTARY BOROUGHS OF IRELAND.
Prime Minister of Ireland,Brian Cower and Tanaiste/Deputy Prime Minister,Eamon Coughlan speak to the World.
BRIAN COWER.
it is true,dear lowly people of ireland,that dail eireann,the irish parliament is indeed the woodstock for nepotists.
we thoroughly agree the old boy/old girl network is fully alive and kicking in our country,no,please stop,this is not our usual verbal slop but the truth.
we,mary or is it eamon,sure mary will do,both agree that the people of ireland understand that ONLY WE can truly represent
the interests of ireland's voters.
we are the rock aristocracy of ireland,we pass the laws around here,boy,laws that suit the wealthy like us.
like robert mugabe,like sheikh ali bare buttocks,ruler of west yemen,or some little emperor whose every uttereance receives warm-eyed applause and uncritical praise.
like the rotten boroughs of our old enemy,merrie england,an electoral area MUST elect an irish member of parliament that has previously had their
father,mother,uncle,aunt,brother,sister etc etc as member of the irish parliament IN THAT ELECTORAL AREA BEFORE THEM.
i myself,inherited the seat of my constituency from my late father,mary coughlan inherited her seat in the irish parliament from her late father,her late uncle was also a
member of the irish parliament.
we have 166 irish members of parliament,for example,tom kitt,his brother michael kitt and his sister aine brady nee kitt are members of the irish parliament like their father
was an irish member of parliament before them as just one little example.
another is brass neck beverly flynn,like father,like daughter(thanks for passing me down your parliamentary seat in mayo,daddy,i'll give all my constituents tax avoidance advice,daddy)
peasants of ireland come to us for largesse and solving of your grubby problems in our clinics.
MAINTAIN this old boy/old girl network,this old school tie trickery on the irish people.
KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY,you get the message,in ireland,members of the parliament pass on their seats like minor english nobility to their offspring and siblings.
it's the rotten borough system as of yore but it's dressed up in democratic clothes and fools the voters every time.
this system has the advantage of excluding 99 % of ordinary irish people from running for office for parliament because no one will have a bucking chance of being elected against the party machines.
was your pa a member of the irish parliament before you boy/lassie?No,then buck off.
KEEP ORDINARY IRISH PEOPLE OUT IS OUR MESSAGE,in fact i dont think there is hardly a single
member of the irish parliament who has NOT inherited his or her seat.
now,i will keep my parliamentary seat down in offaly warm with my cosy arse and ready for MY children to inherit when their time comes in the future,so will mary,wont you mary?
it's anti irish and anti competitive but hey,i dont want MY kids to end up as plate stackers in some crap restaurant in clara,do i?nor do you,eamon?sorry,mary.
we have work to do like reducing the continuous sooty emissions from our green party "colleagues" in government,now buck off,
i'm a gruff prime minister from ireland who can shout down any of you,protect the perjurers i say.
lawlessness and disorder and terrorism by gurrier gangsters on irish streets,the irish health service has collapsed,so what?
my kids will get a fantastic salary as member of the irish parliament,you get priveliges by the score,large pensions,fawning,
the best seats in posh restaurants,doffing of hats from your inferiors,you get position,prestige and respect at the golf club,packages of organic food from trevor sergeant,
free rides on tax evaders' yachts,free rides in private jets,free loft insulation for your pets in your 8 bed mansions.
yes,dear hoi polloi of ireland,you've made it in this country today if you have a tax avoiding relative in the yard and a rich bastard td in the family.
nepotism,begobbery and sleeveenism are rife in dail eireann but have a nice day,folks.
BRIAN COWER.
it is true,dear lowly people of ireland,that dail eireann,the irish parliament is indeed the woodstock for nepotists.
we thoroughly agree the old boy/old girl network is fully alive and kicking in our country,no,please stop,this is not our usual verbal slop but the truth.
we,mary or is it eamon,sure mary will do,both agree that the people of ireland understand that ONLY WE can truly represent
the interests of ireland's voters.
we are the rock aristocracy of ireland,we pass the laws around here,boy,laws that suit the wealthy like us.
like robert mugabe,like sheikh ali bare buttocks,ruler of west yemen,or some little emperor whose every uttereance receives warm-eyed applause and uncritical praise.
like the rotten boroughs of our old enemy,merrie england,an electoral area MUST elect an irish member of parliament that has previously had their
father,mother,uncle,aunt,brother,sister etc etc as member of the irish parliament IN THAT ELECTORAL AREA BEFORE THEM.
i myself,inherited the seat of my constituency from my late father,mary coughlan inherited her seat in the irish parliament from her late father,her late uncle was also a
member of the irish parliament.
we have 166 irish members of parliament,for example,tom kitt,his brother michael kitt and his sister aine brady nee kitt are members of the irish parliament like their father
was an irish member of parliament before them as just one little example.
another is brass neck beverly flynn,like father,like daughter(thanks for passing me down your parliamentary seat in mayo,daddy,i'll give all my constituents tax avoidance advice,daddy)
peasants of ireland come to us for largesse and solving of your grubby problems in our clinics.
MAINTAIN this old boy/old girl network,this old school tie trickery on the irish people.
KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY,you get the message,in ireland,members of the parliament pass on their seats like minor english nobility to their offspring and siblings.
it's the rotten borough system as of yore but it's dressed up in democratic clothes and fools the voters every time.
this system has the advantage of excluding 99 % of ordinary irish people from running for office for parliament because no one will have a bucking chance of being elected against the party machines.
was your pa a member of the irish parliament before you boy/lassie?No,then buck off.
KEEP ORDINARY IRISH PEOPLE OUT IS OUR MESSAGE,in fact i dont think there is hardly a single
member of the irish parliament who has NOT inherited his or her seat.
now,i will keep my parliamentary seat down in offaly warm with my cosy arse and ready for MY children to inherit when their time comes in the future,so will mary,wont you mary?
it's anti irish and anti competitive but hey,i dont want MY kids to end up as plate stackers in some crap restaurant in clara,do i?nor do you,eamon?sorry,mary.
we have work to do like reducing the continuous sooty emissions from our green party "colleagues" in government,now buck off,
i'm a gruff prime minister from ireland who can shout down any of you,protect the perjurers i say.
lawlessness and disorder and terrorism by gurrier gangsters on irish streets,the irish health service has collapsed,so what?
my kids will get a fantastic salary as member of the irish parliament,you get priveliges by the score,large pensions,fawning,
the best seats in posh restaurants,doffing of hats from your inferiors,you get position,prestige and respect at the golf club,packages of organic food from trevor sergeant,
free rides on tax evaders' yachts,free rides in private jets,free loft insulation for your pets in your 8 bed mansions.
yes,dear hoi polloi of ireland,you've made it in this country today if you have a tax avoiding relative in the yard and a rich bastard td in the family.
nepotism,begobbery and sleeveenism are rife in dail eireann but have a nice day,folks.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Irish thug and gangster,gilbert gilhooley tips brazil as investment.
gilbert gilhooley,here,i'm just having my brekker,that's dublin slang for breakfast to
our millions of international readers.
by the way,welcome to all our new blog readers in papua new guinea or is it cuba?
apparently they've all just got computers for the first time.
these little confiture pots of jam are lovely on toast,
i rob them out of the shelbourne hotel,
me and the lads plan our next robberies there while having
afternoon tea.
it's very civilised and less chance of us being bugged by those criminal asset bureau bastards.
they cant eavesdrop because of the background noise.
yeah,this little pot of ...what is it?
yeah raspberry jam is fab on lightly browned toast.
i could pay for them of course but i like robbing things,
i'm a kleptomaniac since i was in the pram,i used to rob me brothers and sisters rattles.
we meet our accountants in all the best five star hotels in dublin(that's dublin,ireland,not dublin,ohio),plan where to invest our
monies,brazil is red hot at the moment,them brazilians are finding black gold,all over the
shop off their coast.
so my advice to you is,buy the ishares brazil exchange traded fund(etf),
it invests all your money in the biggest and best companies in brazil.
sorry have to take this call..who?
yeah,huntsman of savile row,you have those 25 handmade suits ready for the courier,they'll be
with me in a couple of days time.
brillianto.
having millions is great,another thing i'm thinking of getting into is the ould nags,you know racehorses,
buy a few to beat that sheikh al maktoum's godolphin stables gee gees.
having money and making more is,you know,it's just about having the right attitude between your ears,
know what i mean?
having all this loot is a blast,a fucking blast i tell ya.
talking of nags,i think i'll hop down to paddy powers bookmakers and place a few bets on them.
fatso,fatso,get me gucci sunnies,drive me down to paddy powers in ballsbridge.
sorry boss,your what?
me sunnies,me fucking sunnies,are you deaf as well as stupid?
sorry,i dont understand boss.
me shades,me sunglasses you thick bastard,we're wasting time here,now get me me sunnies,me gucci sunnies.
end.
our millions of international readers.
by the way,welcome to all our new blog readers in papua new guinea or is it cuba?
apparently they've all just got computers for the first time.
these little confiture pots of jam are lovely on toast,
i rob them out of the shelbourne hotel,
me and the lads plan our next robberies there while having
afternoon tea.
it's very civilised and less chance of us being bugged by those criminal asset bureau bastards.
they cant eavesdrop because of the background noise.
yeah,this little pot of ...what is it?
yeah raspberry jam is fab on lightly browned toast.
i could pay for them of course but i like robbing things,
i'm a kleptomaniac since i was in the pram,i used to rob me brothers and sisters rattles.
we meet our accountants in all the best five star hotels in dublin(that's dublin,ireland,not dublin,ohio),plan where to invest our
monies,brazil is red hot at the moment,them brazilians are finding black gold,all over the
shop off their coast.
so my advice to you is,buy the ishares brazil exchange traded fund(etf),
it invests all your money in the biggest and best companies in brazil.
sorry have to take this call..who?
yeah,huntsman of savile row,you have those 25 handmade suits ready for the courier,they'll be
with me in a couple of days time.
brillianto.
having millions is great,another thing i'm thinking of getting into is the ould nags,you know racehorses,
buy a few to beat that sheikh al maktoum's godolphin stables gee gees.
having money and making more is,you know,it's just about having the right attitude between your ears,
know what i mean?
having all this loot is a blast,a fucking blast i tell ya.
talking of nags,i think i'll hop down to paddy powers bookmakers and place a few bets on them.
fatso,fatso,get me gucci sunnies,drive me down to paddy powers in ballsbridge.
sorry boss,your what?
me sunnies,me fucking sunnies,are you deaf as well as stupid?
sorry,i dont understand boss.
me shades,me sunglasses you thick bastard,we're wasting time here,now get me me sunnies,me gucci sunnies.
end.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
FIFA announces remainder of 2008 World Eleven.
FIFA tonight announced the midfield and striker positions for its World XI TEAM OF 2008.
Gunther Assassin,FIFA spokesperson and referee enforcer said it hadn't been a hard choice at all,he'd give the world's press the names of the successful players and would then ask the journalists to piss off as soon as possible as there was still serious drinking of fine wines and eating of even finer food to be done by FIFA's executive committee that evening.
MIDFIELD:
Sushi Sashimi-Japan.
Paris Onions-France.
Bruce Burntbarbiesausage-Australia.
Pork Chow Mein-China.
STRIKERS:
Eduardo Brazil Nut-Brazil.
Nelson Giblets-Ghana.
Manager John Piles said he was quite happy but didnt say why.
Gunther Assassin,FIFA spokesperson and referee enforcer said it hadn't been a hard choice at all,he'd give the world's press the names of the successful players and would then ask the journalists to piss off as soon as possible as there was still serious drinking of fine wines and eating of even finer food to be done by FIFA's executive committee that evening.
MIDFIELD:
Sushi Sashimi-Japan.
Paris Onions-France.
Bruce Burntbarbiesausage-Australia.
Pork Chow Mein-China.
STRIKERS:
Eduardo Brazil Nut-Brazil.
Nelson Giblets-Ghana.
Manager John Piles said he was quite happy but didnt say why.
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