Breaking wind from CELEBRITY CRAP MAGAZINE.
We have exclusive pics of MADONNA's sweaty buttocks on her current tour where the feminist freak and bulky weightlifter is playing
to empty audiences worldwide.
Later on we have an exclusive interview with ZACH GOLDSTEIN,exclusive colonic irrigationist to the arseholes of the stars.
zach loves himself and is an expert on cheap tans,cheap celebrities,cheap launches and cheap fish.
i'm just cheap,zach says proudly.
zach is considering becoming manager to ireland's international star,BRIAN PORMOND of rte infamy.
also appearing on the show tonight for "charity" are english slapper MICHELLE HEATON who is famous for her brass neck and
brass tits.
you havent heard of michelle?
neither has anyone else except a few columnists with no gossip to report.
ireland where cheap celebs kiss any arse that will get them a mention in a crap popular newspaper.
KATHRYN THOMAS we have heard through the grapevine has dyed her pubic hair dark again,"i've gone back to
my dark roots" KATHRYN gushes to our drunk uninterested reporter.
DAVID BUCKHAM famous chinese footballer and married to skeleton VICTORIA BUCKHAM has announced he will have
the carbon emissions from the crap he talks captured and stored in underground caverns in the kish basin in dublin bay.
david thinks dublin is in north britain and wants to wish all his fans the best,DAVID will be signing autographs
and showing his bare legs and cleavage at his latest comic signing in easons,the bookstore next tuesday.
tragic KATE MOSS will be there with david,MARIAH CAREY,ANGELINA AND BRAD SHITT,JORDAN and her trout pout,
SIMON COWELL,who has all the charm of a peeled bollacks will also attend in his limo.
also there will be numerous sychophants,pr people,camera people,tv producers and legendary reporters from
tv3's expose programme.
simon cowell will explain why he is a shit and makes people puke.
"celebrities" not worth a pot of lukewarn piss.
