Breaking wind from CELEBRITY CRAP MAGAZINE.
We have exclusive pics of MADONNA's sweaty buttocks on her current tour where the feminist freak and bulky weightlifter is playing
to empty audiences worldwide.
Later on we have an exclusive interview with ZACH GOLDSTEIN,exclusive colonic irrigationist to the arseholes of the stars.
zach loves himself and is an expert on cheap tans,cheap celebrities,cheap launches and cheap fish.
i'm just cheap,zach says proudly.
zach is considering becoming manager to ireland's international star,BRIAN PORMOND of rte infamy.
also appearing on the show tonight for "charity" are english slapper MICHELLE HEATON who is famous for her brass neck and
brass tits.
you havent heard of michelle?
neither has anyone else except a few columnists with no gossip to report.
ireland where cheap celebs kiss any arse that will get them a mention in a crap popular newspaper.
KATHRYN THOMAS we have heard through the grapevine has dyed her pubic hair dark again,"i've gone back to
my dark roots" KATHRYN gushes to our drunk uninterested reporter.
DAVID BUCKHAM famous chinese footballer and married to skeleton VICTORIA BUCKHAM has announced he will have
the carbon emissions from the crap he talks captured and stored in underground caverns in the kish basin in dublin bay.
david thinks dublin is in north britain and wants to wish all his fans the best,DAVID will be signing autographs
and showing his bare legs and cleavage at his latest comic signing in easons,the bookstore next tuesday.
tragic KATE MOSS will be there with david,MARIAH CAREY,ANGELINA AND BRAD SHITT,JORDAN and her trout pout,
SIMON COWELL,who has all the charm of a peeled bollacks will also attend in his limo.
also there will be numerous sychophants,pr people,camera people,tv producers and legendary reporters from
tv3's expose programme.
simon cowell will explain why he is a shit and makes people puke.
"celebrities" not worth a pot of lukewarn piss.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Prince Philip names 3 Irish Batmen for Queen's Trip to Ireland in 3019.
Prince Philip here,I would like to announce to the World that my wife,Queen Elizabeth the First and I have chosen the 3 Irish batmen
for Her Majesty's visit to Ireland next year.
They are Bodger McNulty,Widler O'Keefe and Knut Svensson.
As well as performing their lowly batmen duties such as the daily kissing od Her Higness's arse the 3 lads will search for drugs that criminals may try to sell to Her Majesty.
We note that another Irish horse,Lanternas has been caught using illegal substances at the Peking olympics.
We understand from my spies in the irish camp,pat hickey and the rest of the irish olympic committee people couldnt care less,they were fine wining and dining and too busy kissing communist arses at the "worker's palace" to be concerned.
We thought they would have learned from cian o'connor and the disgraced and tainted water polo "gold" medalist,Michelle "Pisspot" Smith after her debacle
at the Atlantis Games in 1886.
We must say we think the Irish should be given a Gold Medal for Drugs,they are far better at them than any other nation in the world.
NOTE TO EDITOR:I didnt get my bung money you tight Irish catholic bastard,send it soon or there will be trouble.
for Her Majesty's visit to Ireland next year.
They are Bodger McNulty,Widler O'Keefe and Knut Svensson.
As well as performing their lowly batmen duties such as the daily kissing od Her Higness's arse the 3 lads will search for drugs that criminals may try to sell to Her Majesty.
We note that another Irish horse,Lanternas has been caught using illegal substances at the Peking olympics.
We understand from my spies in the irish camp,pat hickey and the rest of the irish olympic committee people couldnt care less,they were fine wining and dining and too busy kissing communist arses at the "worker's palace" to be concerned.
We thought they would have learned from cian o'connor and the disgraced and tainted water polo "gold" medalist,Michelle "Pisspot" Smith after her debacle
at the Atlantis Games in 1886.
We must say we think the Irish should be given a Gold Medal for Drugs,they are far better at them than any other nation in the world.
NOTE TO EDITOR:I didnt get my bung money you tight Irish catholic bastard,send it soon or there will be trouble.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Prince Philip confides his exclusive and innermost thoughts to our website:comedyblogireland.blogspot.com
He's in the news again...my "son" Prince charles.
last night in buckingham palace,he invited his wealthy,happy clappy hippy friends over,their nocturnal "guitar" playing
and bongo drum playing from a number of chelsea tractors on the lawn
drove myself and the old lady bonkers.
earlier in the evening,we summoned charlie boy to a meeting in the henry the 8th room but
he informed us through his butler he was "busy talking to my plants".
where does he come up with this shite from?
now if ever the need for a genetically modified brain was necessary,charlo's your man.
when he becomes king of the home counties of southern england,it will be the end of the monarchy,i'm telling you.
as charles's hippy party staggered on into the wee small hours,my spy in his camp informed
me there was wild,unbridled rumpy pumpy going on everywhere.
it's not commonly known naturally but charles is a right goer,a real hanky panker as well as a peddle and cranker and was seen,yes,seen by my personal spy using an organic leek as a butt plug on camilla.
i've never heard the likes of it.
i shall keep the millions of readers of this website informed(the authors just need to bung me a few bob now and again but in euro
not pound sterling,please,that currency is gone to the dogs.)
last night in buckingham palace,he invited his wealthy,happy clappy hippy friends over,their nocturnal "guitar" playing
and bongo drum playing from a number of chelsea tractors on the lawn
drove myself and the old lady bonkers.
earlier in the evening,we summoned charlie boy to a meeting in the henry the 8th room but
he informed us through his butler he was "busy talking to my plants".
where does he come up with this shite from?
now if ever the need for a genetically modified brain was necessary,charlo's your man.
when he becomes king of the home counties of southern england,it will be the end of the monarchy,i'm telling you.
as charles's hippy party staggered on into the wee small hours,my spy in his camp informed
me there was wild,unbridled rumpy pumpy going on everywhere.
it's not commonly known naturally but charles is a right goer,a real hanky panker as well as a peddle and cranker and was seen,yes,seen by my personal spy using an organic leek as a butt plug on camilla.
i've never heard the likes of it.
i shall keep the millions of readers of this website informed(the authors just need to bung me a few bob now and again but in euro
not pound sterling,please,that currency is gone to the dogs.)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Prince Philip updates Irish People on Queen Elizabeth's Impending Visit to Ireland.
Prince Philip (Saxe Coburg Gotha),Duke of Glascow Rangers,here,smack my bitch up baby.
I am enjoying immensely my visit to Eastern Ireland,i have passed on my wife's,Her Majesty's,
Queen Elizabeth the 1st's insistence that the ALL irish Catholics must renounce
Pope Gregory the Great as Bishop of Rome and acknowledge her as Defender of the Faith for her visit to go ahead in 2009.
When she arrives in Rosslare next year on the Stena Line Fast Ferry,all Catholics must bow before her and avert their
pikey eyes from meeting hers.
I am enjoying my stay in the capital of Little Ireland,i visited 2 public houses,the Big Mickey on the bog of Allen
and Clancys of Bray in a place called Northern wicklow,where i met with several archdukes,viscounts,
lords,ladies and innumberable irish blueblood piss artists.
It never stops raining in this shitty little country but despite this,the innumerable and successful irish criminals
are happy with their lot.
Ah,here's my English coffee...must run,toodle oo..talk to you Irish peasants soon.
Smack my bitch up,baby,listening to a few sounds right now like Nodger and the Nappies and Westlife.
I am enjoying immensely my visit to Eastern Ireland,i have passed on my wife's,Her Majesty's,
Queen Elizabeth the 1st's insistence that the ALL irish Catholics must renounce
Pope Gregory the Great as Bishop of Rome and acknowledge her as Defender of the Faith for her visit to go ahead in 2009.
When she arrives in Rosslare next year on the Stena Line Fast Ferry,all Catholics must bow before her and avert their
pikey eyes from meeting hers.
I am enjoying my stay in the capital of Little Ireland,i visited 2 public houses,the Big Mickey on the bog of Allen
and Clancys of Bray in a place called Northern wicklow,where i met with several archdukes,viscounts,
lords,ladies and innumberable irish blueblood piss artists.
It never stops raining in this shitty little country but despite this,the innumerable and successful irish criminals
are happy with their lot.
Ah,here's my English coffee...must run,toodle oo..talk to you Irish peasants soon.
Smack my bitch up,baby,listening to a few sounds right now like Nodger and the Nappies and Westlife.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
RTE,Ireland's Broadcaster awarded SPONGERS and FREELOADERS AWARD OF 2008.
Tonight EXPOSURE tv shows all the happy clappy STARS of Irelands television broadcaster,RTE.
Look,there's Donatella Versace lookalike Miriam O'Callaghan with her orange Day-Glo complexion applying another
layer of fake tanning lotion.
Hi Donatella,sorry Miriam..EXPOSURE tv here,is it true,you've recently had your buttocks shaved at a secret Botox Clinic in Donnybrook?
No comment?
Guests are leisurely enjoying a Cocktail and Cupcake reception at the 5 Star Hotel Spongers...holy moly,
there's more RTE legendary,dirty bum wiping SOCIALITIES and more even legendary personalities like MYLES DUNGHEAP,
JOE SCRUFFY,PAT THE SQUATTER KENNY,DON BERTO AHERNLEONE AND ANNE DOYLE,(a couple?).Is Bertie giving tips for the horses to Anne?
She'll be a millionaire in no time.
Pat the Sqautter Kenny is moving from his luxurious,multimillion home in Dalkey to O'Devaney Flats we have been reliably informed.
KRUSTY THE CLOWN has flown over from Bay City in California..hi Dave...DAVE FANNY,
is it really you?
can you give an exclusive quote to EXPOSURE tv Mr Fanny?
Look,there's ubiquitous slappertastic Seoige sisters who will not get their fat arses off television,they are on all the fucking time..
Look,cameraman,focus on Eamon Cokehead,RTE's shite talking,ultra-high net worth multi-millionaire midgeted poker pundit.
Hi Eamon,have you recovered from your recent bout of constipation?
Insiders say you guzzle down more free drink and stuff your little gob with more free food than any other
RTE legend,can you give EXPOSURE tv a quote,Mr Cokehead?
Look,there's Dobby Dobson and Sharon Ni Bawler stuffing their faces with more free food at the expense
of the millions of irish tv license payers..there's AONGHUS MAC GRINNY with designer silk suits and gold spun ties on him that cost more
than 90% of Irish people earn in a decade.
BREAKING NEWS.
Global Santa Fe drillship Artic 2 has spudded a well in the Celtic Sea off Wexford in Ireland this evening..
Germaine Greer,mad Australian bitch has married a hoodie knife wielding metrosexualised transgendered
Kangaroo in Perth,Australia..
England have followed on in their 11th innings after defeat to Nigeria at the Second Test in Sierra Leone.
RTE,work for us and become a Sponger and Freeloader and Broadcaster of SHITE.
Look,there's Donatella Versace lookalike Miriam O'Callaghan with her orange Day-Glo complexion applying another
layer of fake tanning lotion.
Hi Donatella,sorry Miriam..EXPOSURE tv here,is it true,you've recently had your buttocks shaved at a secret Botox Clinic in Donnybrook?
No comment?
Guests are leisurely enjoying a Cocktail and Cupcake reception at the 5 Star Hotel Spongers...holy moly,
there's more RTE legendary,dirty bum wiping SOCIALITIES and more even legendary personalities like MYLES DUNGHEAP,
JOE SCRUFFY,PAT THE SQUATTER KENNY,DON BERTO AHERNLEONE AND ANNE DOYLE,(a couple?).Is Bertie giving tips for the horses to Anne?
She'll be a millionaire in no time.
Pat the Sqautter Kenny is moving from his luxurious,multimillion home in Dalkey to O'Devaney Flats we have been reliably informed.
KRUSTY THE CLOWN has flown over from Bay City in California..hi Dave...DAVE FANNY,
is it really you?
can you give an exclusive quote to EXPOSURE tv Mr Fanny?
Look,there's ubiquitous slappertastic Seoige sisters who will not get their fat arses off television,they are on all the fucking time..
Look,cameraman,focus on Eamon Cokehead,RTE's shite talking,ultra-high net worth multi-millionaire midgeted poker pundit.
Hi Eamon,have you recovered from your recent bout of constipation?
Insiders say you guzzle down more free drink and stuff your little gob with more free food than any other
RTE legend,can you give EXPOSURE tv a quote,Mr Cokehead?
Look,there's Dobby Dobson and Sharon Ni Bawler stuffing their faces with more free food at the expense
of the millions of irish tv license payers..there's AONGHUS MAC GRINNY with designer silk suits and gold spun ties on him that cost more
than 90% of Irish people earn in a decade.
BREAKING NEWS.
Global Santa Fe drillship Artic 2 has spudded a well in the Celtic Sea off Wexford in Ireland this evening..
Germaine Greer,mad Australian bitch has married a hoodie knife wielding metrosexualised transgendered
Kangaroo in Perth,Australia..
England have followed on in their 11th innings after defeat to Nigeria at the Second Test in Sierra Leone.
RTE,work for us and become a Sponger and Freeloader and Broadcaster of SHITE.
Monday, August 4, 2008
UNITED NATIONS in emergency debate on Vile Pong from Irish Rail.
It was announced early this morning that the United Nations is to go into emergency session to debate the vile and unbearable pong from the toilets at Irish Rail's Pearse Street and Bray/Daly stations,amongst others.
Customers who are forced to use the toilets when caught short(for no one in their right mind would use the toilet unless they had to)said it is like being hit by a knuckle duster in the face from a punch from mike tyson,the putrid smell is so bad and there is also a stroboscopic lsd like effect from the lights put in to deter heroin users,this disorientates anyone using the johns.
Irish Rail's overpaid,usless,sleazy,inefficient,cretinous chief executive and management lick arse board of directors said like everyone else in power in ireland,they would NOT put their bollackeses on the table and what do they care if legions of decent people have to use overcrowded,filthy,unpuncutal trains and toilets?
like those responsible for the m50 debacle,they are SCUM.
Customers who are forced to use the toilets when caught short(for no one in their right mind would use the toilet unless they had to)said it is like being hit by a knuckle duster in the face from a punch from mike tyson,the putrid smell is so bad and there is also a stroboscopic lsd like effect from the lights put in to deter heroin users,this disorientates anyone using the johns.
Irish Rail's overpaid,usless,sleazy,inefficient,cretinous chief executive and management lick arse board of directors said like everyone else in power in ireland,they would NOT put their bollackeses on the table and what do they care if legions of decent people have to use overcrowded,filthy,unpuncutal trains and toilets?
like those responsible for the m50 debacle,they are SCUM.
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