Gilbert,here,Gilbert Gilhooley,ireland's second biggest gangster after Don Berto.
i'm down taking a holiday on the Golden Mile in Marbella in Spain.
the heat is savage..it's 2am in the mornin and it feels like f***ing inside the oven at
johnston,mooney and o'brien's bread baking factory it's hotter than a fucking heatwave on mars.
Verstehen Sie?
i'm tryin to eat me donner kebaberella but it's too hot for me tongue..jaysus..the sweat is drippin off me..i miss bray where i'm from
and havin a few gargles in clancys wilder than the wild west fightin bar.
great fights in there,fantastico,mucho fantastico..i'm too old for all that shite now..
yeah,it's this big brand beer i can't stand...carlsberg,bud weiser,heineken, full of chemicals and tasteless..
like it's been strained through a venereal diseased turkish wrestler's jockstrap..fucking bin juice seepage from a ballyfermot sewer.
as for the guinness down here,blacker than tiger wood's arse,three of my lads drank it from an improperly flushed beer tap,they were on the crapper
for 4 days and we couldnt shift an ounce of coke,not that syrupy californianly piss that's sold all over the globe,the real stuff..
this globalisation and big anonymous brand muck is poisoning us all ..
listen,i have a short fuse but i'm a loyal man,i'm a good boss,i saved modney bojangles's cat's life..his cat is called
tiddles..you think i'm joking,dont you?
serious,i just knew him 15 years ago when we were like...young bucks in the trade..tiddles followed me into
clancys,there were a few cream crackers(note from editor:that cockney london rhyming slang for irish travellers or gypsies)
one of the cream crackers was about to stamp on tiddles as a sick joke and i confronted him..the cream crackers backed off
and i brought tiddles home and left him with me da who was alive then.
modney bojangles hasnt stop lickin me arse since and he's a good and loyal memeber of the band..
jaysus,the english chavs down here and the amount of east european honky tonk brassers is unbelieveable..
you can buy furniture for nothing,empty interior design shops all over the kip..there's more tat and fake designer everything here than in
fucking finglas(dublin hood area).
Golden Mile my bollacks,the sultan of Brunei has an elaborate spread beside mine.. they wouldnt let him onto, dont mind play at my golf course,the k club
i can tell you that..i've never seen a camel on my course,i was goin to talk to you about golf but this fucking heat..
garcon,bring me your best bottle of champagne,this beer is piss...
