Pierre Onions,here,bonjour,chevre chaud basquaise.
we,french,are world champions at spoofing and self promotion and talking shite.oui?
me?
i am france's greatest celebrity columnist,oui...i write for the beano and its french equivalent,le figaro..oui,non,oui?
we french never stop f***ing ouiing..non?oui?
today,i write about slicky nicky sarkozy and his current bedroom companion,chanteuse,not tonight,carla bruni.
oui,oui..i need to wee,here carla speaks to you:
carla bruni:
below is the "poetry" from my new album being released outside the eifel Tower in Lyon today.
I am a french slapper,i may dress well and look very dapper.
i am a french tart,despite my 4000 plus lovers,a scrapper,
liasions with hundreds of (piss) artists and politicians,i am a useless fashion conscious rapper.
oui?
pierre onions says:
it's not true everyone was in the "french resistance",in fact the vast majority of french people were collaborators with yellow streaks down their backs and
stopped kissing the nazi arses only when the tide turned against the germans and their many cowardly french pals in world war 2.
thierry henry is expected to line out for france in the right back position against the vichy republic tomorrow,estee lauder,l'oreal and faberge will all line out in midfield.
napolean bonaparte is the lone forward.
st joan of arc is turning in her grave.
