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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
gilbert gilhooley the gangster loves irish judges.
gilbert gilhooley here,just another one of ireland's multitude of thugs and gangsters but i am a very high profile and successful one. who are my heroes i'm asked now and again?
irish judges that's who.
where would we irish criminals be without them,the devil bless them. excuse me for a minute,i was out till 4am last night organising another large shipment of cocaine for my loyal customers.
i'm bucking ravenous. just put the cheese and gorgeous galtee rashers in between the two slices of this freshly baked bobbys bab..bucking pollacks,i'm starvin..gorgeous.
how many irish judges are on the take?
i dont know for sure but i have 4 on my books... and people wonder why so many judges let us off with suspended sentences..the devil bless them.. excuse me while i bed down for a few more hours kip and then it's down to me local later for a few pints ..
we call our local the bullet proof jacket,that's not its real name but sure i'll tell the real name again.. now buck off,i'm tired. END.
irish judges that's who.
where would we irish criminals be without them,the devil bless them. excuse me for a minute,i was out till 4am last night organising another large shipment of cocaine for my loyal customers.
i'm bucking ravenous. just put the cheese and gorgeous galtee rashers in between the two slices of this freshly baked bobbys bab..bucking pollacks,i'm starvin..gorgeous.
how many irish judges are on the take?
i dont know for sure but i have 4 on my books... and people wonder why so many judges let us off with suspended sentences..the devil bless them.. excuse me while i bed down for a few more hours kip and then it's down to me local later for a few pints ..
we call our local the bullet proof jacket,that's not its real name but sure i'll tell the real name again.. now buck off,i'm tired. END.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
DINNY O'WINE,IRISH BILLIONAIRE AND PATRIOT.
BILLIONAIRE,IRISH PATRIOT AND TAX COMPLIANT DENIS "DINNY" O'WINE.
STAR NEWS CENTRE HERE,COME IN CHIEF REPORTER NAPPER TANDY AT DUBLIN AIRPORT.
NAPPER TANDY TO CAMERA.
everyone in ireland knows billionaire denis "dinny" o'wine rightly expects from the irish peasantry the prestige and respect that is his due.
dinny,is with his one friend in life who he pays to be his friend and who is carrying his suitcases stuffed with cash.
dinny is on his way to his tax exile haven today in malta.
NAPPER TO DINNY.
how much do you owe the irish people dinny in lost tax revenues?
DINNY TO NAPPER. push off,you space cadet.
NAPPER TO DINNY.
space cadet,is it? i'm no space cadet,i'm a part time astronaut though as well as Star news chief reporter.. do you want a bite dinny of my microgravity paste stuffed chicken in these tubes i have in my lunchbox?
WE SEE NAPPER TUCKING INTO HIS GRUB.
NAPPER TO DINNY O'WINE.
why do you think the footaball association of ireland sold their remaining last small tads of reputation and their souls to you for a few bob,dinny?
DINNY TO NAPPER.
becaus they want to save their own bacon,they want good public relations for themselves and for me and didnt they get trap door toni,one of the best loophole lax tax law experts in the universe..as well as in ireland?
NAPPER TO DINNY.
trap door toni isnt an accountant or tax expert,dinny,he's a highly regarded football manager.
DINNY.
What the buck,i thought he was a genius in fumbling in the greasy tills of places,to borrow a phrase from one of ireland's world's famous nobel prize winning poets of the past ronald mcdonald.
NAPPER.
ronald mcdonald isnt an irish poet,dinny,he's dutch i think,too,not irish..that quote is .. it's from irish poet,samuel speckett,dinny.
NAPPER TANDY TO AUDIENCE.
don't go away,we'll be back shortly after this short break. (that's about 17 minutes time)
ADVERT.
hi,i'm hanoi jane fondue,i put this cosmetic crap on my face for Forunreal cosmetics becaue i'm not worth a dime.
Forunreal cosmetics pay me..hanoi jane fondue,millions of dollars,that's botswanian dollars to promote this muck. remember,i love myself,there are millions of kids dying in the world but that dont matter,once you viewers love me and kiss my hanoi jane ass when i tell you to.
remember i'm not worth a dime.
STAR SPORTS HERE.
Napper come in what do you think of our chances for qualifying for the soccer world cup in 2010 in south bronx?
NAPPER.
we're in with a great chance until the first match against the italians starts,where did i leave that bottle of gin?
STAR NEWS,BREAKING NEWS AND BREAKING WIND EVERY 15 MINUTES.
NAPPER TO CAMERA/AUDIENCE.
Well,there's tax compliant billionaire and irish patriot,dinny o'wine boarding his private jet for malta. dinny is like a lot of today's irish- rich,law abiding and a total canker.
END.
STAR NEWS CENTRE HERE,COME IN CHIEF REPORTER NAPPER TANDY AT DUBLIN AIRPORT.
NAPPER TANDY TO CAMERA.
everyone in ireland knows billionaire denis "dinny" o'wine rightly expects from the irish peasantry the prestige and respect that is his due.
dinny,is with his one friend in life who he pays to be his friend and who is carrying his suitcases stuffed with cash.
dinny is on his way to his tax exile haven today in malta.
NAPPER TO DINNY.
how much do you owe the irish people dinny in lost tax revenues?
DINNY TO NAPPER. push off,you space cadet.
NAPPER TO DINNY.
space cadet,is it? i'm no space cadet,i'm a part time astronaut though as well as Star news chief reporter.. do you want a bite dinny of my microgravity paste stuffed chicken in these tubes i have in my lunchbox?
WE SEE NAPPER TUCKING INTO HIS GRUB.
NAPPER TO DINNY O'WINE.
why do you think the footaball association of ireland sold their remaining last small tads of reputation and their souls to you for a few bob,dinny?
DINNY TO NAPPER.
becaus they want to save their own bacon,they want good public relations for themselves and for me and didnt they get trap door toni,one of the best loophole lax tax law experts in the universe..as well as in ireland?
NAPPER TO DINNY.
trap door toni isnt an accountant or tax expert,dinny,he's a highly regarded football manager.
DINNY.
What the buck,i thought he was a genius in fumbling in the greasy tills of places,to borrow a phrase from one of ireland's world's famous nobel prize winning poets of the past ronald mcdonald.
NAPPER.
ronald mcdonald isnt an irish poet,dinny,he's dutch i think,too,not irish..that quote is .. it's from irish poet,samuel speckett,dinny.
NAPPER TANDY TO AUDIENCE.
don't go away,we'll be back shortly after this short break. (that's about 17 minutes time)
ADVERT.
hi,i'm hanoi jane fondue,i put this cosmetic crap on my face for Forunreal cosmetics becaue i'm not worth a dime.
Forunreal cosmetics pay me..hanoi jane fondue,millions of dollars,that's botswanian dollars to promote this muck. remember,i love myself,there are millions of kids dying in the world but that dont matter,once you viewers love me and kiss my hanoi jane ass when i tell you to.
remember i'm not worth a dime.
STAR SPORTS HERE.
Napper come in what do you think of our chances for qualifying for the soccer world cup in 2010 in south bronx?
NAPPER.
we're in with a great chance until the first match against the italians starts,where did i leave that bottle of gin?
STAR NEWS,BREAKING NEWS AND BREAKING WIND EVERY 15 MINUTES.
NAPPER TO CAMERA/AUDIENCE.
Well,there's tax compliant billionaire and irish patriot,dinny o'wine boarding his private jet for malta. dinny is like a lot of today's irish- rich,law abiding and a total canker.
END.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Pee Bandit and Daughter of Pee Bandit in Quiz.
You're a Creep Talent Show,Ireland's Creepiest Show.
BRIAN DORMOUSE TO FIRST CONTESTANT,PEE BANDIT.
Come on down Pee Flynn,you have a fantastic chance to keep 50,000 euro if you do NOT answer the question and if you do NOT sing like a canary.
Is it true you are a big chief down in castlebar known by some of the local idiot braves as chief foul yellow water?
PEE FLYNN TO BRIAN DORMOUSE.
True Mr Dormouse,i often can't believe how so many gobshites there are down at home who believe the piss i come out with for decades.it simply amazes me.
I'm a nympho for free cash,brian..did you hear me,i'm a nympho for free smakeroos that aren't mine.
i will NOT answer the question,mr dormouse sir,shure,i cant sing a f***ing note,do i get to keep the 50 big ones..?
BRIAN DORMOUSE TO PEE FLYNN.
Stop sticking your forked tongue out at me,Pee,i'm just a quiz show host.
PEE FLYNN TO BRIAN DORMOUSE.
Look brian here's me smug and crass daughter beverly cooper flynn.
Bev the Clev Clev calls me an artist,a piss artist,the biggest piss artist in connaught formely known as the prince of mayo bandits.
WE SEE BEVERLY ENTERS THE STUDIO RIDING A UNICYCLE.
BEVERLY TO AUDIENCE.
Hi folks,i'm appearing on tonight's show to offer each and every member of the audience free tax advice...did you hear that? free tax advice.
WE SEE THE AUDIENCE RUNNING OUT OF THE STUDIO. BEVERLY TO AUDIENCE.
Come back,come back,it's not true who ever said Pee and Me have more slapheaded naked ambition than the bald arse of Yul Bryner..come back..come back i say.. i have some horse tranquilisers to sell if anyone is interested..
END.
BRIAN DORMOUSE TO FIRST CONTESTANT,PEE BANDIT.
Come on down Pee Flynn,you have a fantastic chance to keep 50,000 euro if you do NOT answer the question and if you do NOT sing like a canary.
Is it true you are a big chief down in castlebar known by some of the local idiot braves as chief foul yellow water?
PEE FLYNN TO BRIAN DORMOUSE.
True Mr Dormouse,i often can't believe how so many gobshites there are down at home who believe the piss i come out with for decades.it simply amazes me.
I'm a nympho for free cash,brian..did you hear me,i'm a nympho for free smakeroos that aren't mine.
i will NOT answer the question,mr dormouse sir,shure,i cant sing a f***ing note,do i get to keep the 50 big ones..?
BRIAN DORMOUSE TO PEE FLYNN.
Stop sticking your forked tongue out at me,Pee,i'm just a quiz show host.
PEE FLYNN TO BRIAN DORMOUSE.
Look brian here's me smug and crass daughter beverly cooper flynn.
Bev the Clev Clev calls me an artist,a piss artist,the biggest piss artist in connaught formely known as the prince of mayo bandits.
WE SEE BEVERLY ENTERS THE STUDIO RIDING A UNICYCLE.
BEVERLY TO AUDIENCE.
Hi folks,i'm appearing on tonight's show to offer each and every member of the audience free tax advice...did you hear that? free tax advice.
WE SEE THE AUDIENCE RUNNING OUT OF THE STUDIO. BEVERLY TO AUDIENCE.
Come back,come back,it's not true who ever said Pee and Me have more slapheaded naked ambition than the bald arse of Yul Bryner..come back..come back i say.. i have some horse tranquilisers to sell if anyone is interested..
END.
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