LET THE YELLOW PARTY EAT (ORGANIC) CAKE.
Bertie the First,High King of All Ireland and Tinpot Taoiseach receives Tribute and Deference from his lowly sychophantic minions in the Yellow Party and from mayo independent,Lady Macbeth Cooper Flynn.
BERTIE TAKES HIS BLING BEJEWELLED CROWN FROM HIS HEAD AND POLISHES IT WITH HIS SPIT.
EAMON WHINE,MINISTER FOR NO COMMUNICATIONS AND TORTOISE BROADBAND SPEEDS NERVOUSLY APPROACHES BERTIE THE FIRST AND BOWS DOWN LOW BEFORE HIM.
EAMON TO BERTIE THE FIRST.
We come,we come.. Your Highness as Planet Bertie Savers bearing Gifts of greenhouse gas and carbon emissions,ignore the Irish people who say principle is dead in irish politics,O Great One,the irish people are fools.
BERTIE THE FIRST SPEAKS TO HIS SYCHOPHANTS.
Sure i know that,i've codded them on a massive scale for decades..enriched meself,manifold,i have and enjoyed the beautiful trappings of power.
BERTIE THE FIRST TO EAMON,WHO HAS PRODUCED A BICYCLE FROM NOWHERE AND HOPS ON IT.
Stop shaking man,come nearer on your gee whizz bike there ...yeah right ..how boring.. climate change i hear youse fellas want? it's leader change i'm worried about..now pog mo thoin..all of youse,i couldnt give a celia larkin about climate change.
BERTIE TO JOHN GORMLESS,LEADER OF THE YELLOW PARTY.
stop those false teeth of yours clattering,for jaysus sake,gormless..jaysus.. your jobs and heads are safe,the dirt poor of the world will starve even more in the near future if we continue to use food as biofuels for the limos of the multimillionaires like me so i'm told....big deal...have you brought my fairtrade 5000 euro cashmere pin stripe suits to my Drumcondra Castle,john gormless?..good,now pog mo thoin.
JOHN GORMLESS TO BERTIE THE FIRST.
I have,Master, please sir,allow me to doff my hat to you again..and again..the leather covers on the chairs in our plush offices feel so good on our executive arses..i have gifts for you,too,lord,..eco nappy cream and natural slug pellets for the all the worms around you..
SERGEANT TREVOR.former Commander of the Yellow Party to BERTIE THE FIRST.(shouting)
Forgive me,O Bertie,i said i would never serve as commander under you as King,so i just resigned and became sub commander..we just want to save you,Kaiser Bertie,f*** the environment..
BERTIE TO ALL ASSEMBLED.
Silence. I am the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland,I am Bert of the No Tax Cert..i disdain the Peasants of Ireland,all they do is vote for me under my false pretences....they haven't enough bread in their bleedin' pockets? haven't i done enough for them? let them eat organic cake..i am the leader and will stay the leader.. i am not power mad,caligula appointed his horse to the roman senate,sure didn't i appoint eoghan harris to ours.? do youse like me new clothes,eh?
THE COUNTLESS GOOD PEOPLE OF THE SOLDIERS OF DESTINY,PAST AND PRESENT WERE DEEPLY PERTURBED THAT THEIR DECENCY AND GOOD WORK CAME TO NOUGHT AND LOOKED AWAY IN DEJECTION AT THE NAKED EMPEROR.
ENTER MARY HARNEY,THE MINISTER FOR DEATH. BERTIE THE FIRST TO THE MINISTER FOR DEATH.
Howya Mary,how many more thousands of trolleys di ya say we needed? stop quaking there harney,your job is safe....top of the range chaffeured cars,junkets where you want,hols in exotic places when you want..all the posh nosh you can eat and jaysus,you must eat it every 5 minutes with an elephantine arse like yours. you just stay quiet..all youse pds,,yellow party people,what's the indepdendent fella's name..darby o'gill or finian something..me own backbenchers..stay fecking quiet..do NOTHING..
MINISTER OF DEATH TO BERTIE THE FIRST.
thank you Lord.. We need tents as well,Leader..and sleeping bags..for the annoying hospital patients,not just more trolleys,your Greatness.. may i kiss your posterior Master?
BERTIE THE FIRST TO THE MINISTER FOR DEATH. yeah right..let me drop me trousers first.. who's this?
ENTER LADY MACBETH BEVERLEY COOPER FLYNN,SERVER OF THE IRISH PEOPLE AND TAX ADVISOR.
BERTIE THE FIRST TO THE PEASANTS OF IRELAND.
Jaysus,even a shiver went down me spine there.. It's the crass act,daughter of me old buddy,padraig,who unfortunately knows where ALL the bodies are buried...like sean haughey,lady macbeth cooper flynn herself here to pay me homage and look for a job in the Court of bertie the shameless.i better watch meself with this one..
MINISTER FOR DEATH TO BERTIE THE FIRST OF ALL IRELAND. that was so gratifying,kissing your arse,Master of Language Gibberish....now..the audacity of some to suggest you need electrocution lessons.. We must to Doyle Eireann,Viscount Ahern.....
BERTIE TO MINISTER FOR DEATH.
Look i don't mind this Doyle Eireann membership carry on..it's the turning up bit to answer truth finding questions i dont like..in fact,i detest..now push off...i have to speak to me legal team and to me army of accountants and stonewalling experts and to me richly paid tax advisors.. and to me well heeled dig out buddies..me dig out buddies more than anyone..if one of them pigeons turns a stool..there'll be hell to pay.. for me..
END.(hopefully soon for Bertie the Last.)
